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Updated: Dec 15, 2021

It’s one of the most memorable days of your life: you’ll be marrying your soulmate as your family and friends cheer you on. But which friends do you want standing beside you?

No, really! Your boo makes you happy, but what about the other valuable people in your life? Do they make you happy enough to be gifted with the honor of being in your wedding party? Of course, you want those who you hold highest in value to share this moment with you. That’s where the stress sets in.

Choosing who should be in your bridal and groom party sounds easy until you actually start making that list. Suddenly that list looks too long, right? But have no fear: with these six steps below, there shouldn't be any headaches deciding who gets to be apart of the special crew.

1. How Many Should There Be? You may want your wide range of family and friends in the party, but once you start budgeting for the bridesmaid dresses and everything else, you might see the need to cut down on your teammates. Decide with your spouse-to-be on how many you not only want, but can afford. Also, don’t forget to weigh-in the possible drama factor and exactly how many guests you are inviting.

2. Family First

No one knows you better than your immediate family. So if you have any siblings, ask them first. And don’t worry about breaking with tradition: the brother can be the man-of-honor while the sister can be the best woman. Either way, if you have good ties with your siblings, choose them first.

3. Reliability is a Must Your friend from high school who tends to be late for everything? His cousin who loses everything and will probably lose the rings? Yea. Take an honest look at your possible party and choose those who you know you can count on. Just because you both go back a ways, or they can be lots of fun, does not mean that they should be in your wedding party. If the reliability factor is low, respect that truth and move accordingly.

4. You Can Say No It may not be easy but you can say no to someone who asks to be in the party. Really, it’s your wedding, not theirs, so you don’t owe them anything. Even if you were in their wedding party, you are not obligated to make them part of yours, given the reasons above. With compassion, respect and tact, be honest with them and honor your needs. You come first.

5. Kids or No Kids?

Having the little ones as a ring bearer or flower girl can be so cute! Not to mention, they usually create memorable photos and videos. But if you are not comfortable having young children in your wedding party, that’s totally up to you! You don’t want any hiccups and unfortunately, having young children in the party could cause that. The choice is yours.

6. Think Twice Before Asking

Picking your wedding party is going to be one of the biggest decisions here. You should give yourself some time, maybe even a month, before you ask anyone. Make a list of possible bridesmaids and groomsmen, and look at the list again a month later. Still want those people or do you need to tweak that list? One thing you should ask yourself: is this someone I hold as dear to me as I do my union? Wedding parties are made up of friends and family who have been with you through thick and thin– from even before the wedding. That means that they’ll have to be with you through thick and thin during and after the wedding. Choose wisely!

If you already find making this decision to be stressful on top of already planning your entire wedding, then it may behoove you to look into hiring a wedding planner in Southern California. This way, the heavy load of mapping out your nuptial bliss will be taken off of your shoulders as you decide on who has the honor to partake in your VIP crew. Hey, if you feel you might need some advice on choosing anyone, the best wedding planners in Southern California can help you. They have seen this dilemma before and wouldn’t mind putting their two cents in. We at Cherished Moments wouldn’t mind either!

Now, go choose with your mind and heart!

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